Fil-E-del-fee-uh

Dear Philadelphia,

When I ate meat, you’re cheese steaks were sometimes the only reason we would drive 45mins south and pay for parking on South Street. You’ve got some great food, shops and bars. You’ve also got some of the best concert venues ever.

But Phil, let’s be reasonable here, your sports teams are ok, your fans are terrible, your streets are filthy as are you cops and government and your crime rate is through the roof. These are all things i could expand on exponentially. However, not the reason i chose to talk about Philly tonight.

I chose you P-Del, because of your airport. Philly International. I fly in and out of P.I. Airport at least 2x a year for the past few years and there is one consistent I have noticed that I thought should be brought to your attention. The people you hire… well… they rode the short bus. They still lick the self adhesive stamps. They believe that Tibet is a rapper like Nelly or 50 Cent who is in prison and a lot of people think he shouldnt be.

Now, i could go on and on about my personal stories but that isnt quite as amazing as the story I found in the news last week.

A California college student was detained for five hours at Philadelphia’s airport for having Arabic flashcards in his luggage.

Yes. A student, named Nick George.

George, of Wyncote, Montgomery County, was about to catch a Southwest flight back to school when stereo speakers in his backpack caught the eye of screeners at the metal detector.

When they looked though his bag, George said, they found his Arabic/English flash cards, and escorted him to a side screening area.

He figures it didn’t help that his passport had stamps from Jordan, where he’d studied a semester, and Egypt and Sudan, where he’d gone backpacking

Ok. You know what? I think questioning this kid briefly wouldnt do any harm. Any other airport probably would have pulled him aside for 10/15mins and just gotten his story cleared. But NO NO NO not PHILADELPHIA!

George said that Transportation Security Administration officers kept him in the screening area for what seemed like 45 minutes. Eventually a woman from the TSA arrived and began asking more questions, like how he felt about 9/11.

“Do you know who did 9/11?” he said that the woman asked.

George said that he told her that it was Osama bin Laden, and that she responded smugly, “Do you know what language Osama bin Laden spoke?”

Soon after that a Philadelphia police officer arrived and told George to put his hands behind his back. Without explanation, he slapped handcuffs on him and led him away.

George was taken to the airport police station, where he was locked in a holding cell with the cuffs still on. I guess that’s what you do with a high-value physics major.

Do you know who did 9/11? Do you know what language Osama Bin Laden spoke? Wow. Pennsylvania. I hope you all get a pen and paper out so the next time Philly Airport security stops you … you are prepared to answer these questions that clearly no American can answer. Ahhh the city of brotherly love.